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U Got Text



It's been a few weeks since I last posted. Work has a sister working hard, but no complaints. A sistah's got to eat. Anyhoo - I've met a few guys since I last posted. One guy got Xed off my list of potentials real quick because he did the one thing I told him I didn't like--he sent me a text message instead of calling me. You just met me so why are you sending me a text?

The thing is he didn't text me while at work (I can understand if you want to communicate with someone while at work using the phone or sending an email from a company computer might not be wise). He was texting me when he was supposedly at home. If you're at home, why can't you pick up the phone and call. That raises an eyebrow or two because several things go through my mind with one main question - what are you hiding???

I confronted him about it and he tried to explain why he was texting. I asked him to pick up the phone and call but he never did. I then sent him a text asking him to lose my number.

Confession #5 - I'm into new technology, but please if you want a date with me, do not text me unless absolutely necessary. A phone call goes a lot further than a text message.

Love is Silly


Song of the day: Silly by Deniece Williams
 
What’s the point?

Yes I said it. Although I’m optimistic (deep down) about love, romance, marriage and kids, there’s a part of me that wonders, ‘What’s the Point’? I mean as a young girl I went through life believing there was the ‘special’ man out there who would see me beyond my faults. He would know just from being around me that I was someone he had to have in his life and then he’d propose and we’d build that life together. 
 
Sure, every relationship whether love or platonic, has it’s ups and downs. It has it’s trials and tribs, storms and sunshine, fire and ice. But the LOVE factor, would get us through the bad times and amplify the good times. 
 
Instead, I see men and women not communicating, splitting finances, harboring secrets that could destroy their union, cheaters, liars, babies daddies who feel content to populate the Earth and women who are so busy gold digging that men fail to see the ‘RUBY’ within them. 
 
In fact the whole dating process is like walking on hot coals, filled with adrenaline, insecurity and blisters from another TORCHED experience. Men don’t WOO women anymore, at least the ones I’ve met and have heard about. They don’t pursue because women are too busy taking on the role of the man. You got through the whole icebreaking event just to find out (rather quickly) it was all a lie and now you have to ‘start over’ just to get the same experience you had before.
 
And wait….If there is a decent marriage then there are problems with the children because both parents are working hard to barely make ends meet. I mean I could go on and on. And over the years I’ve seen my friends (married and dating), with and without kids striving to ‘make it work’. And in the end, it’s breakup city, tears of pain, nights of tortured regret, stifling hurt and excruciating unrequited love.
 
I know there are some rainbows; some beautiful rays of sunshine and back in the day, THAT alone made it WORTH the process. But now, at 35, single, never married, never had a long term relationship beyond 5 months and no kids, I have to wonder ‘What’s the Point’. I’m sure I’ve said or done some things out of hurt and pain that probably helped in my current status, but you know; it took years of all of the above before I got jaded and prompted elements of that ‘sabotage9 factor. 
 
So as I said, deep down, I’m still hopeful and optimistic. I’m preparing myself to be a better woman and mate, because I do believe my MAN is on his way. But that ‘hopeful’ me is now battling with the ‘What’s the Point’. Me.
 
-AWOVOSL (a-vo-wah-sol)
(a woman on the verge of self love)

Confession #4 - Sometimes I fear I'll end up alone.

Bug a Boo

manonphone
Song for the day - Destiny's Child - Bug a Boo


Have you ever given your number to a guy and later regretted that you did because now he's becoming a Bug a Boo?

I tried being polite to this guy because I really don't like hurting folks feelings but he pushed me to the limits so I came straight out and told him to stop calling me. One thing about a Bug A Boo, they don't take hints well.

The first clue that a woman don't want to be bothered is after the 2nd message, she hasn't returned your call.  (Translation: Yes, you have the right number, but I clearly don't want to talk to your a**.)

Another clue is after the 2nd text message, she hasn't replied. (Translation: If I didn't respond to the first text message asking me why I haven't returned your call, what makes you think I will respond to the 2nd one???)

The number way to know if you're a Bug a Boo is if the woman flats out tells you to stop calling but you still do. 

Calling will not change a person's mind. All it will do is put you on the STALKER list.

Confession #3 - I return phone calls; however if I'm not interested in future communications with the person, I don't.  That goes for men I'm not interested in, bill collectors, nosy neighbors, etc.  

Can I Buy You a Drink?

drink
Song for the day - T Pain - Buy U a Drank


Ladies do you feel obligated to give a guy your number after he buys you a drink?

Will I give a guy my number after he buys me a drink--it depends. 

If over the course of our conversation the guy says something off the wall or disrespectful, he gets no digits.
If I see any sign of a wedding ring or mark on the ring finger, he gets no digits.
If his breath is kind of tart--okay funky, he gets no digits.
If I happen to look down and see a size 5 shoe, sorry fellows but you gets no-nada-zero digits.

Fellows don't think because you buy us drinks that we're obligated to talk with you and dance with you ALL NIGHT. Please don't be like the guy I met this past weekend who got upset because after he bought me a drink he still didn't get the digits. Buying women drinks is just a chance you're taking. The woman is not obligated to give you her phone number. 

Fellows spend your money wisely. Better yet, save your money. 

Confession #2 - Good conversation beats out a free drink any night--well at least for this sista. 

What If I'm Two Pennies Short of a Dime?


I've heard some guys call some women dime pieces. One question--what if you're a nickel and three pennies? Can an 8 get some attention please!!! I mean I got the breasts--nice double Ds but I don't have the bundonkedonk ghetto booty. Don't get me wrong though--my booty ain't bad either. It's enough junk in the trunk for a guy to smack it up, flip it and rub it down.

Oops. Back to the original reason of the post. So anyway, us 8's are having to compete with the dimes so as an 8, we have to make sure our hair is tight, our clothes are right so we can catch  that special guy's attention. Men are visual creatures. 

Men let me tell you a secret - we women like for our men to be physically appealing too. We like for our men to dress well, smell good and please can you clean your dirty fingernails.

So ladies if you're two pennies short of a dime--embrace being an 8 and shake what your mama made you. Fellows don't let a good 8 past you by while you're waiting on that dime.

Confession #1 - I'm not perfect but who is. 

Who Am I?


I am a single Black female.
Some say I'm a statistic, but I refuse to accept that as a fact.
Life as a single Black woman has it's ups and downs.
I plan on giving a "in your face" view of what it's like to be single these days.
Feel free to jump on into the discussions.